Wow!  It’s been a long time since I’ve written…I’m sorry about that.  It seems that, between life getting busy and me not feeling inspired, the weeks have passed by.
 
I guess, to be honest, I’m in a better position to write today than I would have been for a couple of weeks. 
 
​I’ve been really struggling with a certain situation, wondering what I should do (if anything) and how it would all turn out.  It’s been a difficult time for me. 
 
I had been bringing it to prayer, trying to surrender and trust, but I’d been finding very little peace. 
 
A couple of days ago, I started praying more just for the grace to trust in this situation.  All along, though, I had been handing it over to Our Lord, sitting before Him in the Tabernacle and also at Mass. 
 
However, I wasn’t finding myself really able to trust that He would take care of the situation and make it work out ok. 
 
I had also, of late, renewed my efforts of praying for the intercession of “all the angels and saints.”    In particular, I called upon St. Pio (in light of his recent feast day and other circumstances) and St. Francis. 
 
Either late last night or early this morning, though, something changed.  I had a distinct realization which I am now struggling to put into words. 
 
It became clear to me that Jesus would make the situation work out as He saw fit, as He knew best.  As I had been reminding myself, He is all-powerful, all-wise, and all good.  He is totally able to take care of it and make things fall into place in the way that is best for all concerned.  I realized anew that it is not my job to take care of this situation.  I just need to step back, take a deep breath, and let Him work it out. 
 
I’m not promising that I will do this perfectly, but I am praying that I can persevere in this attitude, whatever comes. 

Sr. Christina M. Neumann, OSF

This morning, I got out of bed at the sound of my alarm and got ready for the day before heading down to chapel.  Since it was Saturday, we would use the small, Sacred Heart Chapel for Mass.  Before Mass, there would be Simple Exposition, where the tabernacle was opened and Jesus was visible.  
 
This would not be happening for a while yet, though, and so when I got to Chapel, I prayed the rosary, enjoying the dark stillness around me as I sat in His presence.  
 
I finished my formal prayers and, by this time, our Sister sacristan was preparing for Mass.  I got my missal ready for meditation on the day’s readings.  
 
I saw her light the candles by the tabernacle and prepare to open the door, kneeling for what I knew was soon to come.  
 
It was a treat being able to glance up at Jesus as I read and prayed with His Word.  When this form of Exposition takes place in our large chapel, I’m not able to see Him; I love the closeness of this smaller space where I have most of my private daily prayer time.  
 
At 8 a.m., we had Mass.  Father consecrated an extra large host to “refresh” the Blessed Sacrament ​in the luna.  When it came to Communion time, I received part of the same large Host which had been in the tabernacle earlier this morning.  
 
I was awed and grateful at the realization that the One whom I had adored and communed with during this recent time of adoration was now coming to me physically, entering my very being.  I really knew this already, but the logistical fact of receiving from the same Host illuminated this wondrous mystery for me today.
 
What an amazing gift!  
 
As we prepare to celebrate Christmas tomorrow night, I realize that this same One is also the newborn King whose birth we are anticipating in joyful hope.  
 
I would like to close with a simple, but beautiful prayer which we traditionally make in our community during these days of Advent.  I feel it fits with my musings this morning:
Jesus, Jesus, come to me; make my heart a crib for Thee

As I glanced over Tuesday’s Mass readings, the refrain of the assigned responsorial psalm caught my attention: “Let your mercy come to me, O Lord.”
 
What a simple, yet beautiful prayer! 
 
It resonated deeply in my heart, which has been heavy again of late, amidst some challenging days and circumstances. 
 
This experience, which I will have to delve into more deeply during my prayer time tomorrow, is evidence of the quote from Hebrews, which is used in the gospel acclamation: “The word of God is living and effective, able to discern reflections and thoughts of the heart.” 
 
I am grateful for this word, alive in our lives, which helps bring us to the freedom Christ offers, as St. Paul so beautifully stated in tomorrow’s epistle: “For freedom Christ set us free.”
 
In closing, may I ask for your prayers in these challenging times, that His mercy may come to me in abundance? 

Thursday evening, I was happily able to help sing for a “Night of Praise” (Exposition of the Blessed Sacrament accompanied by some music).  I love this combination of music with adoration!
 
It’s a little bit of heaven on earth, as I told a friend afterward. 
 
Earlier in the week, I’d gotten an email from the liturgy coordinator asking us to meet in the bell tower to practice a bit beforehand.  I had to ask him how to get there, as I’m kind of a rookie at this! 
 
After a little practice, we went to the choir loft, where we spent the beautiful hour. 
 
One word struck me through this experience: blessed.  A couple of the songs we sang centered around this theme of “blessing the Lord.”  Furthermore, I felt truly blessed by this opportunity.
 
Later in the evening, during another conversation, I got to musing about the significantly different uses of the word blessed.  To me, it almost seemed a bit strange that the same word had such contrasting uses, though they all share positive connotations. 
 
We pray “Bless us…and these your gifts.”  We say, “I am blessed by so many good things.”  We sing, “Bless the Lord, O my soul.”
 
As I thought about this linguistic enigma a bit more, I was struck with the roots of the word in the romance languages.  Interestingly enough, our beautiful time with Jesus neared its conclusion with “benediction.”  Bene-diction means blessing!
 
As I thought of that word, I broke it down; bene means good and diction means saying/ speaking. 
 
So, blessing is a good statement, a good word, in a sense. 
 
I pondered how this applies to our various uses of the word blessing.  When we “bless the Lord,” in a sense, we are saying a good word about Him. 
 
It struck me that, in creation, all God had to do was say the word, and it was.  When Jesus healed, He just had to say the word (although sometimes He used touch and other means as well). 
 
When God blesses us, all He has to do is say the word!
 
I’m not a linguist, but these were the ponderings that came from my beautiful experience the other night.  

The past few months have been a bit challenging for me, and countless others, I'm sure.

I was down for the count in mid-December, and still have some lingering issues.  Along with periodic sore throat, continued fatigue still plagues me, though it is better than it was.

So, whereas I used to get up often at 5:15 a.m., allowing for an hour of prayer to start off my day, these days, I end up pushing off my rising time about an hour, just barely sneaking into chapel before our Morning Prayer of he liturgy of the hours. 

I fit in the hour of privite prayer called for in our constitutions before the day is over (sometimes in pieces), but it's just not quite the same as starting the day with prayer. 

I loved coming into our chapel, in the quiet stillness of early morning, when no one else was there yet, and praying through the day's Mass readings, etc. 

I guess I shouldn't say that "no one else was there," because the One who goes before me (Deuteronomy 1:30, Psalm 139:5, Isaiah 52:12) is already there "waiting," you might say. 

Last night, for some reason, I thought of this and it hit me: "I miss our early morning visits."  My days felt more grounded when I started them with this extended time of prayer. 

Maybe, this time of reduced energy has given me an even greater appreciation for these quiet times. 

When I was home with my mom, I didn't have as much of a chance to pray before the Blessed Sacrament.  This deficiency, too, in its own way, can deepen my appreciation for the immense blessing of having Jesus physically present with us in our convent and at our workplace.

Writing this is a reminder to me to be more grateful for this enormous gift. 

Hopefully, before too long, I'll be able to resume early morning visits with a renewed appreciation for them!

As I sat in chapel yesterday morning, reading over the scripture readings for Mass, one phrase especially struck me: "...he chose us in him, before the foundation of the world..."

This passage from Ephesians (1:1-10) explains how God our Father chose us in Christ to be holy and without blemish.  This whole reading is worth pondering, but that would be a topic for another article.

I'd like to go back to the titular phrase of this post: "Before the foundation of the world."

Isn't that amazing to think about?  According to a quick Google search, our planet is about four and a half billion years old!  That's nine zeros (well, actually 8, with the five in place of one of them)!  Can you imagine how long that is? 

If you and I perhaps live to be 80, which seems to be about the average life expectency nowadays, our planet's foundations would have been laid 56,250,000 lifetime's ago! 

Holy macro!

God has had us in mind for a long time!  He's had a long time to figure things out.  Actually, that's not quite right, I think He's had a plan all along.  So when things aren't going well, when things look dark, I can find consolation in this.  I can remind myself of this; He has a loving plan for our good.

I am reminded of a scripture verse which articulates this message well.  It was etched in my memory by a youth group trip a number of yeaers back: "For I know well the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans for your welfare, not for your woe, plans to give you a future full of hope."  We went around the group (probably on the bus), inserting the name of each person into the passage, ending with an enthusiastic "Jeremiah Twenty NINE Eleven!"

It is beautiful and touching to realize that God's loving plan for my life preceeded the very foundation of the world. 

Today, now, as we honor St. Margaret Mary (known for the revelations of the Sacred Heart), I gratefully recall the words of Psalm 33: "the plans of his heart [stand] from age to age."

This evening, as we were praying vespers, one of the antiphons struck a chord with me, reminding me of a song I learned during my college years: “To the King of ages, immortal and invisible, be all honor and glory, alleluia.” 

This song (paraphrased from 1 Timothy 1), has always been powerful in lifting my heart up in praise.  Since praying the antiphon this evening, now, that song has been coming back into my mind - it’s kind of catchy.  (Sometimes, not being able to get a song out of your head can be a good thing, too.)

I was also struck this evening at how many times the prayers referred to God’s kingship. 
During this time of seemingly unprecedented realities, this “age” of physical distancing, wearing masks, staying home, and rising numbers of ‘confirmed cases,’ it is good to remember that Jesus is truly the king of ALL ages.  He is with us as he promised “even until the end of time.” Also, to quote another song we can remember that “He’s got the whole world in His hands.” 

This is good news which can inspire our hearts to break into praise even (or especially) during the “age” of COVID-19.
​
“To the King of ages, immortal and invisible, be all honor and glory, alleluia.”  

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